This ebook is brought to you by…
Tony Bryan
Do you know that you just made an important decision?
How to Stop That Butt Kissing Habit
One remarkable thing about this world we are living in is that nothing is perfect. And this element of imperfection has seeped its way into everything and everybody, which is probably why we’re always hearing, “no one is perfect.“ But in my opinion, there’s a lot of hope and encouragement embedded in this statement because it helps us to accept ourselves as human beings - with all our inherent weaknesses and imperfections. Oh yes we all have them. We have our share of bad (you may read that as not-so-good) habits and deep down inside us there is a murky something from which all these base cravings and the tendency to cling on to them take birth.
But even when it comes to bad habits, there is a ray of hope. Just like every dark cloud has a silver lining, deep down inside us there is something that cries out in a very plaintive voice. And it is this something that makes us squirm when we think about the habit as such. The moment somebody starts talking about our habit, we feel queasy. The fact is, even we know that something has to be done about it and it is this feeling that makes us squirm. This silver lining is what makes us take sneak peeks at manuals like this one, which are like stepping stones towards quitting the habit.
Most people know what is good for them and what is bad. Come on we all live in a very civilized society and all of us are more or less fairly well educated. But then, why is it that certain people develop certain habits and others do not? The reason is pretty simple. We all are products of the circumstances we grew up in. That is the simple reason why some of us like doing some thing while the others do not.
Before you proceed any further, I would like to tell you that this ebook that you are about to read is not a “do this don’t do that” kind of manual. In fact, many of the things printed here are just common sense and won’t seem completely knew or earth-shattering to you. But I think you’ll agree that KNOWING doesn’t always equate to DOING. This ebook is about getting you to DO.
The essence of this ebook is to show you how to quit smoking. But this ebook has been written in such a comprehensive manner that it is targeted at making you a whole new person who is determined to live life to the fullest.
y#You made the realization (either consciously or subconsciously) that smoking is a bad habit...and one you need to kick. It requires a lot of courage and will power to accept that you have a habit that has to be changed. You ought to feel very good about yourself. It is no easy task to accept ones weaknesses.
The Stats Are In… Most of us know that smoking is indeed a habit that can have many serious implications on our health but there is a tendency to view the problem lightly. It’s important that every smoker be aware of the facts concerning smoking and so I have included certain facts and figures that I hope will serve as eye openers.
I don’t know how it is with you, but as far as I am concerned as soon as I have to look at statistics, my eyes get bleary and something just turns off in my head. But for your own good I implore you to take a good look at the statistics given below, remember, it could save your life. The World Health Organization has been studying smoking trends and statistical patterns across the globe and has come up with the following statistics:
• A good deal of variation exists from one part of the world to another. Many more women smoke in Eastern Europe than in East Asia and the Pacific Region. Eastern Europe itself has a particularly high rate of smoking, with up to 59 percent of adult males smoking. • As with other substances of abuse, such as alcohol and cocaine, the global frequency of tobacco use varies by social class, historical era, and culture. Historically, smoking had been a pastime of the rich. This trend has changed dramatically in recent decades. It appears that economically advantaged men in wealthier countries have been smoking less. The more years of education you've had, the less likely you are to be a smoker. • Most smokers begin early in life, before they are 25 years old. According to World Health Organization studies, the majority of smokers in affluent countries begin in their teens. A decline in the age of starting smoking has been observed worldwide. • As a wannabe quitter, you're in excellent company. People all over the world are trying to quit and stay away from cigarettes. There appears to be a correlation between a country's standard of living, level of education, and income and the number of people who have quit smoking. The more and better-informed people are, the more likely they are to quit smoking.
Current estimates are that over 1 billion people in the world smoke. (In other words, approximately one in three adults on the planet smokes.) The majority of these smokers reside in countries on the low end to the middle of the socioeconomic spectrum. Of this majority, about 80 percent live in low and middle-income countries. The total number of smokers worldwide is expected to keep increasing.
But are things in the USA any better? Not really, as you can see for yourself in the figures of National Health Interview Survey (NHIS), Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, National Centre for Health Statistics In the United States, an estimated 25.6 million men (25.2 percent) and 22.6 million women (20.7 percent) are smokers. These people are at higher risk of heart attack and stroke. The latest estimates for persons age 18 and older show... • Among whites, 25.1 percent of men and 21.7 percent of women smoke • Among black or African Americans, 27.6 percent of men and 18.0 percent of women smoke • Among Hispanics/Latinos, 23.2 percent of men and 12.5 percent of women smoke • Among Asians (only), 21.3 percent of men and 6.9 percent of women smoke • Among American Indians/Alaska Natives (only), 32.0 percent of men and 36.9 percent of women smoke • Studies show that smoking prevalence is higher among those with 9- 11 years of education (35.4 percent) compared with those with more than 16 years of education (11.6 percent). It's highest among persons living below the poverty level (33.3 percent).
And These Figures Spell Death... • One out of every five deaths is caused by tobacco • An average of 400,000 Americans die each year from tobacco • Tobacco to blame for many serious pulmonary and cardiovascular diseases • Tobacco and nicotine are some of the most potent carcinogens and are to blame for a majority of all cancers of the lung, trachea, bronchus, larynx, and oesophagus • Tobacco use also produces cancers in the pancreas, kidney, bladder, and cervix • Impotency is sometimes to blame from addiction to nicotine because of its ability to reduce blood flow • Smoking is an important risk factor for respiratory illnesses, causing 85,000 deaths per year from pulmonary diseases such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and pneumonia • Children and adolescents who are active smokers will have increasingly severe respiratory illness, as they grow older • Smoking during pregnancy causes about 5-6% of prenatal deaths, 17- 26% of low-birth-weight births, and 7-10% of pre-term deliveries, and it increases the risk of miscarriage and fetal growth retardation
Why We Smoke…
Nobody becomes a smoker as a result of will power. In fact it is the other way round. Can you imagine somebody as a child making up his or her mind that when he or she grows up he or she will become a chain smoker determined to smoke at least 30 cigarettes a day? Nobody in his or her normal senses would do that. Then why do so many people become smokers? Let us sit and think about it for a minute. Of course there are a lot of other reasons like the ones I have listed below but I would like to pin point to one specific reason, which I have added, at the end of the list.
Many, in fact most people become smokers as a result of an experiment. What often starts as an experiment becomes an experience and before they know it, it becomes a pattern. So let us examine some of the factors that contribute towards making a person a smoker, chain or other wise.
Peer pressure. One bad apple is enough to make a whole barrel of apples bad. And during the age of thoughtless youth (most people develop the habit before the age of 25) every one is ready to take up a dare. So when peers compel others to take a puff, one just has to take a puff or else face the danger of being branded as “chicken” or “goody-two-shoes.” Availability. Cigarettes are available every where and almost any body can get them and that is one major factor that contributes to the development of the habit. Another reason is that cigarettes are so damn cheap! Aping. Movie stars and other celebrities who smoke look so cool, and this is more than enough reason for youngsters to start smoking just to copy their matinee idol. The Feel Good Syndrome. Cigarettes are often identified with the “cool factor” and so it is a great way to impress others if you can delicately balance the cigarette between two of your fingers and blow up a puff of smoke while you are in your friends' circle. Stress busters. Cigarettes are often wrongly identified as stress busters and one of the best ways of driving away sleep. So when we see others resorting to the habit, we are tempted and even coaxed into taking a puff. If one parent smokes there is a 25% chance that the child too will grow up into a smoker. If both parents smoke, there is a 75% chance that the child will become a smoker. Attitude. This is a good one, but strangely enough this cause is seldom identified as one of the reasons for picking up the habit. One thing about most of us is that there is a rebellious strain in all of us. There is something in us that generates an urge to protest against existing rules and norms and during our teenage, what better way to express our defiance than by sporting a lighted cigarette between our fingers or lips. It is not just some thing about smoking. It is a general tendency of every human being. The moment some body tells us not to do something a strong feeling develops in us to do the very thing that we were asked not to do. If you want to understand what I mean, just consider how people really want to touch and get the wet paint on their hands in spite of a big sign that says ‘wet paint’.
There are many laws which we can’t break for fear of ending up in a cell, but there is no such law against smoking and so it’s just one big, “it’s my life” kind of attitude that makes most youth pick up the habit.
We are all intelligent to know what a message means. When we read the statutory warning that says, “Cigarette smoking is injurious to health” we know what it means. Even a kid knows what it means. It is not like a bolt from the blue. Ignorance is the last thing that we can connect to the habit of cigarette smoking. But then when we see a sign that says ‘wet paint’ it is very much the same thing. The message is loud and clear that the paint is wet but yet we have to touch and make sure.
Cigarette smoking may be dangerous to health but just how dangerous is something that we have to convince ourselves about. But the sorry fact is that unlike wet paint, we just can’t wash of the effects of smoking with water or turpentine. Nor do the effects fade over time, they just worsen. Smoking is not something that we can experiment with. You just can’t take a risk like smoke for a couple of years and say, “look guys, I survived.” It is a matter of life and death.
Then you might ask, if every body knows that it is such a dangerous habit, then why do so many people still become, and continue to remain smokers. Well, the reason is because of a paradox that is involved in the habit of smoking.
If all those who smoked, kicked the bucket at the end of the month, then nobody would even think of smoking. But the paradox is that not everyone who smokes hits the grave that fast. Smoking as a habit is a slow killer. It does not paint all smokers with the same brush of death. On the other hand it is like a florist who picks a few flowers here and a few flowers there to adorn the house but at the same time leaves some flowers on the plant so that the garden does not remain bare.
The problem is that because cigarette smoke as a killer is so choosy, most smokers just keep on hoping that he or she will remain on the plant in the garden forever. In this modern age when we are all so educated and well informed, isn’t it kind of silly to leave ourselves in the hands of fate and just keep hoping that we won’t be next. The funny thing is that we do have a choice. But there’s more to the story. The matter of choice is something that exists only in the initial stages. At that time it’s just a puff here and just a puff there, more to impress others than any thing else. But soon enough things start slipping out of our control and before we know it we just can’t do with out our daily dose of nicotine in whatever proportions we demand it.
Nicotine is addictive! Here is where the problem lies: addiction. The sad thing is that most people don’t realize this. They puff away on their cigarettes and attach a lot of definitions to it. I have taken care to include some of the most popular excuses that people attach to their habit of smoking.
EXCUSE #1 - It relieves stress It really doesn’t. Your body and mind are capable of handling a lot of stress and you do not need any alkaloid to lend external support. The fact is that once your brain is addicted to nicotine, it kind of weakens and becomes unable to handle problems. The result is that you get stressed up very fast and your brain starts demanding its doze of nicotine. When you puff away, you give it the nicotine and you feel as if your stress is relieved.
EXCUSE #2 - It drives away sleep Sleep is a natural response of the body. Our body needs rest and it has the right to demand this rest from time to time. When you take a puff, the alkaloids go straight to your brain and interfere with the working thus confusing the brain. You might be able to ward off sleep but you are in fact interfering with the functioning of your brain, which is indeed playing with fire.
EXCUSE #3 - It perks me up Maybe, but isn’t that a kind of external perk? Isn’t that another way of saying, I am unable to keep in high spirits by myself so I need to depend on cigarettes? Hey, look at all those little children, they are always in the highest of spirits and they do not need any alkaloids for that. You should lessen the burdens on your shoulders and take life as it comes. Most people wrongly think that it is only narcotic drugs that are addictive. This is a very wrong notion indeed. Nicotine too is as addictive as any narcotic. Once you get used to it, it is not going to be easy to break away from it.
Let’s take a moment to ponder over our bodies. They are such remarkable things. Just think of all those activities that are going on so harmoniously inside our bodies. Most of these activities and functions go on with out our own knowledge. It’s almost like a well oiled machine. And think of the count less number of times when you have fallen ill and how this remarkable body has fought back and won the battle. Forget about giving credit to it. None of us do that. But the least we can do is lend it a helping hand.
The world we are living is horribly polluted. And as it is the body has a colossal task of fighting off all those toxins. And here we are pulling in loads and loads of toxic smoke as many times a day as possible. The body will pull on as long as it can, and in the end, one fine day it will put its foot down and say “enough is enough, go ahead cough up and die,” and really we cannot blame it at that time.
The battle is already unfair, so the least we can do is help by not consciously contributing our own share of toxins to this body that is already waging a fierce battle in this polluted world. I guess we have said enough about smoking, now let’s talk about what we really intended to talk about and that is how to stop smoking. But before we proceed any further, I want to give you a word of caution. It’s not going to be easy. This is an exercise that will put your nerves, your muscles and every cell in your body to the utmost level of endurance. But in the when you triumph, you will realize that it was worth it.
After all, it is a matter of life and death. And believe me you can do it once you make up your mind. I can tell you that with all the authority in the world because right now you are being addressed by a person who quit being a chain smoker and is now a total non smoker. That’s right, me!
Step 1: Decision Time Let’s get one thing straight. Wanting is very different from deciding. It may seem like the same thing but really it’s not. There is a sea of difference between wanting to quit and actually deciding to quit. You have probably wanted to quit the very day that you started smoking, but as can be clearly seen, it just didn’t happen.
On the other hand, deciding is a very serious issue. It is something that can affect our self esteem and our dignity because once we decide then we have to stick to the decision right? And that is not going to be easy. Any decision that one takes must be based on sound common sense and in the case of smoking too, this holds true. I would support any smokers decision to quit; but my request to every such prospective quitter is that they should get their facts right.
The problem is that if the prospective quitter is not proceeding in the right track, there is a greater tendency to fail. And once a person tries and fails, it is going to be all the more difficult to break the habit. Before we come to the real decision we might have to do some serious thinking. The decision to quit smoking is not something that can hit your mind in the middle of work. You need to feel composed and have everything well within your control. You need to sit and think about it for at least ten minutes. Oh yes ten minutes is more than enough time.
You have to remember what I told you the odds are all against it. You have to work really hard to think of a reason to go on smoking “the feel good” thing is not good enough an argument. Obviously you are going to end up feeling terrible maybe within the next couple of months if you do not break the habit. So there is absolutely no point in dwelling on temporary pleasures. What I would suggest would be to browse through this manual, an exercise that would hardly take you ten to fifteen minutes and then sit and think about it for another ten minutes and then hit the right button (which means take the right decision). Hey, come on, we’re just talking about half an hour of your time. Surely any one can spare half an hour of their time for a matter of life and death...their own life and death to be precise.
Right, so now that we’ve done the serious thinking, all we have to do is make up our minds. Please remember that it is not the decision making that is difficult. It is sticking to the decision that is going to be the difficult part. So go ahead and make up your mind.
Once your mind is made up, you have a very important thing left to do. You have to announce your decision to quit smoking to as many people as possible. Tell all your friends that you have decided to quit and ask them earnestly to help you as much as they can. Remember, that bit is not going to be an easy task and you are going to need all the help in the world so it is all the more better that a lot of people know about your decision to quit. There is one good thing about letting others know about decision to quit. It makes you more accountable. It lessens down your chances of taking a sneak puff. Having people who support you all around you, keeps you distracted from that great pull. And believe me it is a lot easier to stick to promises made in public than to keep promises made in private.
In one word, it just makes you all the more accountable. Hey you have a word to live up to, and the fear of being scorned and ridiculed by others for breaking your promise is a strong force that can keep you going. Discuss your decision with your family, tell them about your decision and the difficulties that you are going to face. Tell them that you are going to need their support and help ad that it is not going to be easy for you. An excellent thing you could do is draft out a contract for your self about your decision to stop smoking and sign it. It would be an awfully good decision to hang up this contract for all to see so that the next time you take a puff and somebody sees you with the contract above you ganging on the wall; they would at least raise an eyebrow.
It is best if you can get one or two others to quit smoking with you. Quitting smoking is a lot like loosing weight, so it is best if it can be done in small groups. If your partner also smokes then it’s a wonderful thing for both of you to take the decision to together so that you can go on backing and encouraging each other.
The battle is not going to be easy, because you will be pitted against a very formidable foe. Most people tend to under estimate the intensity of the issue. Again I repeat that quitting is not an easy task. I would recommend that you do not measure the size of the enemy by the size of the cigarette. Size does not matter sometimes. After all a stick of dynamite is not very big but just consider the amount of damage that it can bring about.
It is not just one cigarette that you are going to be fighting against. Consider that great chunk of humanity that has been removed from the face of the earth just because of tobacco. You have the statistics given above to prove it. If so many people have succumbed to cigarette smoke, then obviously it’s no ordinary killer. That is why it is highly recommended that you approach the issue only after thorough preparation. I suggest that you compare yourself to a commando who’s preparing to venture into a thick forest shrouded with danger to rescue a hapless child from the clutches of some hardened criminals. Such a commando would be armed to the teeth. He would have been taught all the survival skills and would be a force to reckon with. The commando would be constantly on his guard and even while resting his eyes and ears would be alert. Success for him is not a matter of luck but comes as a natural consequence of his training, his skills and his alertness. He’s brave, he’s sharp, he has nerves of steel and that is just what you must try to be. This battle should be fought to be won, because just like for the commando, for you too this is a matter of life and death. First, let us break a myth. Most smokers honestly believe that they can quit at any time they want. This is far from reality. The fact is that most smokers can’t just do that. The decision to quit is not something that is wholly controlled by the brain. This exercise of control by the brain happens only in the first few days. After that, the brain or mind takes the back seat. It will seem as if the whole body is screaming out for more and more, and the brain has no choice but to comply. As we can see, every part of our body is connected and the brain too prefers to toe to line. So when a smoker believes that he or she can quit at any time that he or she wants, then the person is actually fooling himself or herself. I don’t want to under estimate any body. I agree that some people do have more will power than others. But what I would like to point out is that we are talking about a force that is more than just a physical or mental control. We are talking about withdrawal symptoms. This is the stumbling block over which many a would-be quitter trips. The problem with many smokers is that they fail to recognize these symptoms as symptoms. A withdrawal symptom is something that a person experiences How To Stop Your Butt Kissing Habit © 2005 TomeyMarketing.com 16 once he or she stops using a substance that gives them a kick. Opps, is that too hard to digest? Well, let’s try to make it simpler. There are many things that are identified with substance abuse. Alcohol is one of them, narcotic drugs are another and tobacco is in no way to be left behind. The problem, or let us say that the similarity among all these substances, is that once one gets used to them, breaking away is not easy. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the fear of deprivation of the pleasantly high feeling that drives the person to use the substance again and again so that it is used, misused and eventually abused. The person returns for his or her daily shot because of certain altered conditions in the body. These substances are indeed very potent and they affect certain specific spots or centers of the brain. The brain quickly gets used to these alterations and then before we know it, these centers of the brain cannot do without the daily doze of the substance. The brain did not ask for the substance in the first place but we gave them to it. When we experience that pleasantly high feeling we do not bother about the changes that are taking place within. It is common knowledge that the entire processes carried about in the brain are maintained by a delicate balance of the various chemical salts there. Once we start using substances like the above mentioned tobacco, narcotics and alcohol, the balance of these chemical salts gets altered. The body as I mentioned earlier is a self adjusting machine and so this new chemical balance is established and it takes no time for the brain cells to get adjusted to the new balance. Then when the brain cells do not get what is required to maintain the new balance (read that as the daily puffs) things go hay wire. The old balance was disturbed and altered and a new balance was set up. But this new balance is not the real natural thing. It is something that has to be artificially supported and when that daily, or timely dose of nicotine does not get to the brain, the new balance gets upset. That is when a person gets those peculiar feelings, which can be broadly called the withdrawal symptoms. You know what I am talking about don’t you? Haven’t you felt uneasy and jittery when you were unable to get that puff? It’s a strange kind of feeling isn’t it?
It’s a feeling that can only be soothed when you take that long refreshing pull of highly toxic smoke. Some people break into a sweat, some get the tremors, some feel queasy, some get constipated… All these are withdrawal symptoms, so unless you prepare yourself to face the pressure of withdrawal, you’re going to face a losing battle. Psst…let’s not leave out an important detail...
The new balance in the brain that was established with the help of the used substance can indeed be broken. I’m not saying that it is easy but once you start conditioning your brain, that it just not going to get what it wants, that is the external substance, the brain will be left with no alternative than to go back and restore the old balance. Of course the brain is not going to give up without a fight and that is what we are going to experience as the withdrawal symptom. Initially the brain had been doing all too well without the help of any external substance; and then we made the brain become dependent on something. So when we stop using that something, it is only a matter of time before the brain goes back to its original state of functioning. All we have to do is to muster up the will power to over come the withdrawal symptoms that might set in. But again I do admit that it is easier said than done. In the end, however, knowing that withdrawals will come (and recognizing them as such), is a vital part of the quitting process.
Step 2: Be Prepared Again and again I want to stress on the fact that this is a task that can be achieved only if you are well and truly prepared. There is an old saying that says “well begun is half done,” and the same thing rings true in the matter of quitting as well. So let us hit the different buttons that are part of the preparation. As I mentioned earlier, it is not just enough that you know that you are trying to quit smoking. All those who move around closely with you must be let into the affair. This includes your family, your friends, your colleagues and - brace yourself for this- your boss as well. Now, that might sound a bit strange, what the hell has your boss got to do with your attempt to quit smoking?
The answer is simple, if you tell your boss that you are trying to quit smoking it gives you one more reason to go for it with a resolute mind because no body would want to stand sheepishly in front of a boss and say something like, “well I kind of gave up I guess.”
Smoking is not a joke and quitting is even a more serious affair so it is best that you approach the problem with all the seriousness of the affair. It would be best if you prepared yourself mentally, emotionally and physically for the change. And it doesn’t stop with that. You should also prepare your surroundings. Get rid of any thing and every thing that reminds you of smoking. This includes things like ash trays, packets of cigarettes. The main thing is to get your mind of smoking and for that you have to find a substitute for it. There are many other things that you could practice when you get the urge to smoke. I will list out the things that you could do here. Then you could choose the ideal thing to do according to your life style.
Music Music is a wonderful way of getting your mind off that urge to smoke. If you have fixed times for getting a smoke like after meals or during the coffee break you could try playing something very soothing using a walk man and head phones so that you do not disturb others though you might attract attention. Another thing you could do is that you could play music on your computer if you have a work station all to your self. Music is a wonderful stress reliever. I do not want to emphasize on any particular type of music because tastes differ.
Meditation Meditation is also an excellent way of helping you to get better control over your mind. It is not a very great thing too. Any body can learn the art with a little bit of practice. Now I hope you will pardon me if I digress a bit from our topic and give you a few essential points on how to meditate because this as I see it is the best method of helping you to gain better control over you mind and there by get over that urge to take in that puff of smoke. The simplest method of mediation that you could practice by yourself would be to sit in a very comfortable position with your eyes closed. In the initial stages you may find your mind drifting but gradually you will learn to focus more and more. The idea behind meditation is not to cut out all the forces around you but to become one with them. I have seen people plug their ears with cotton to shut out sounds. But that is not the purpose that we wish to achieve. On the contrary we should focus on the sounds around us. Be aware of them, listen to them. First listen to the bigger sounds around you like the traffic or machines or even loud music from your neighbor’s apartment. Then listen to the softer sounds like the drone of the refrigerator, or the A/C. And then bring your attention to the sound of your own breathing. If you can actually hear yourself breathing then you have arrived and this is what you have to keep doing.
It would be useful if you could try to focus on some inner picture that you could conjure up in your mind. By inner picture I mean an image that you can concentrate on for example the flame of a lighted candle or a single flower on a plant. Try and see how long you can keep your mind focused on such an image. If the image blurs immediately and is replaced by something else, then you need to work on it. Gradually you will see that you can keep your mind focused on the same thing for more than ten minutes. That means that you have arrived. Once you have reached this stage and have begun to practice it without fail, you will see that it can give you immense mental strength. Then the next time you get an urge to smoke, all you have to do is sit put where ever you are, close your eyes and meditate. The urge will have vanished by the time you open your eyes. Meditation not |